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Holy F***!

2023


Sister Clementine´s boyfriend is absolutely divine in Simone de Boudoir´s delightful debut novella Wasted Nun. And I mean that literally: she talks to God about her frustrations living in the cloistered monotony of the convent, and He encourages her to let off steam by looking at her beautiful body and masturbating. But, as the subtitle of her story promises, Sister Clementine´s fortuntes become both more eroticized as well as more sinister when she is transferred to the mysterious St. Carmilla´s, an abbey that seems to exist within perpetual shadow near a thick forest.


Shortly after her arrival, Clementine meets the sinfully sweet Sister Cherry, who suggests she get cleaned up in a warm bath. Urged on by her Higher Power, Clementine enjoys many carnal pleasures beneath the wimple with her fellow nun. But when Cherry invites her to go outside and meet the rest of their order, Clementine discovers that their purpose in inviting her here goes beyond the sexual, and perhaps even beyond all that is holy.


Wasted Nun will appeal to readers who seek lesbian erotica and stories which center female pleasure. Recovered or lapsed Catholics will also get a kick out of the nunsploitation of Clementine and her horny sisters, as the novella toys with vows of chastity as well as declarations of unbridled lust. De Boudoir is a talented writer, fusing hot descriptions of sex with humor and candor. The author also includes a fair amount of dark colors to her narrative canvas: earlier episodes of abuse are referenced, and some of the book´s concluding scenes seemlessly shift into the supernatural (I don´t want to provide too many details about what those, as that would spoil the surprise).


Simone de Boudoir writes with confidence and clarity, as if the imagery of filmmaker Ken Russell had fornicated with the attitude of writer Kathy Acker. Wasted Nun is a lot of fun, and let´s all pray to whatever is above and below that this young author gives us more.

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